BRACE YOURSELF!

Ah, the wonderful world of teenagers! I remember myself as a teen, so easy-going and amenable. My parents on the other hand were just a teeny bit uptight. Not to mention that they TOTALLY didn't get me (insert eye roll).

Fast forward 25 years and here I am...it's Freaky Friday...and I'm suddenly the parent of two teenagers. Two teenagers who are nothing like my sweet self at the same age. I see those of you with teens nodding wildly but for those of you without teens, please let me shed a little light. Nothing will prepare you for teenagers. Nothing. Brace yourself! You think childbirth was hard? Given the choice, I would be wheeled back into the delivery room sans medication if it meant expediting them to adulthood.

Not all teenagers are created equally however. One of mine is quite mellow but the other is simply apoplectic. Perhaps the younger one has just not found his stride. The older one however...oi! I'm not sure what the magic number was, but one day my child that was straight out of a fabric softener commercial suddenly had the starring role in The Exorcist.

Now everything I have read assures me that there is a perfectly scientific explanation for all of this. It's hormones and their rapidly changing brain the experts effuse. Eureka!! Thank goodness there is a logical explanation. I felt so frustrated before I knew. Yeah, okay. Truth is, I don't give a rat's hiney what the logic is, I'm ready to starting mashing elephant tranquilizers into his food.

I've always prided myself on not being "that mom." You know the one that needs to kick and scream to get their children to listen. No siree. That wasn't me, because I had it all figured out. Ha! Now I resemble Momzilla ranting and raving and pulling my hair out. It was so much easier when you could take the computer away for an evening as punishment. Now I stare as this 6'5" man in front of me and think, what now?

Don't get me wrong. My teenagers are awesome. They don't get into any trouble beyond the ordinary teenage hijinx but those hijinx are enough to keep Loreal's hair color division in business for a very long time.

Everyone tells me to hang in there. Don't give up. Things will get better. I hang on to those words like a Cuban to a floating door. I look forward to the day when he can look at me without complete irritation and disdain. I know it's coming. I remember when I actually enjoyed spending time with my parents again.

I guess the thing I've learned the most from all of this, is that I love my parents for everything they have done for me. I mean REALLY love them. If they could love me and support me while my heading was spinning and I was puking pea soup all over them, they must be pretty darn special.