My Life as a Sunflower Girl: DORK IN DISGUISE

Reading through my old journals recently, I realized that I have not always been the ubercool person that my kids think I am (drop me off at the corner, puh-lease!!). I guess you could say I was a dork growing up. I cringe reading my angst-filled entries on being left out of a clique, not being invited to the party of the season, and wondering where to sit in the cafeteria. Photos of my teenage self only confirm this. Dressed in some of the most tragic outfits the 80's had to offer, I stand smiling in all of my dork glory. I always longed to be the popular girl but it was not in the cards for me. Grasping the latest fashion trends in an effort to fit the mold, usually ended up with me looking like an unfortunate collage of fashion don'ts.

I remember one day, not long ago, a colleague said, "I bet you've always been a Barbie." I don't know what made me laugh harder, the fact that she thought I was a Barbie now or the fact that she thought I was a Barbie in highschool. I thought to myself, if I'm a Barbie, then I'm in disguise (albeit not a very clever one), because I am and always will be a total dork.

Turning 40 was a milestone that allowed me to embrace my dorkiness. I no longer care if I fit the mold (boots with yoga pants?), sing for all to hear (Gawd, mom. Honestly!), trip walking into the mall (I'm heeere!), or say the wrong thing (my special gift). I don't worry about the fact that my kids are easily mortified or that they can't believe from which they came. Not at all. Now I just laugh. Laugh because in 41 years, nothing has changed. Laugh because I am a klutz and goofball rolled into one dorky package. Laugh because I get the inside joke and I don't care if anyone else does.

So if you ever found yourself coming in 9th on track and field day, getting your hair caught in your boyfriend's watch, or trying to work "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock" into a sentence, you are probably a dork and you shall always be one. Embrace the essence of being a dork! You are not alone. Remember, being true to yourself is the coolest thing you can do.